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Unlike Etta: a short story

James O'Brien

A short story, published in the latest issue of the fine journal out of Baltimore called Loch Raven Review. Be sure to check out the beautiful translations of Ukranian poetry also in this issue. (The previous issue has a big section full of Irish-language poetry in translation with a very interesting introductory essay by guest editor, Colm Breahtnach.) In the case of "Unlike Etta," things happened slowly then very quickly. After submitting my story, I hadn't heard back from the editors for a couple of months, so sent them a note to check in on its fate. Editor David Belz got back to me right away to say they couldn't find my submission. However, the deadline for their next issue had not yet arrived, so if I would like to resend the story to them, they'd give it a look. A couple of days later I got word that they wanted to publish it. While I have been writing and publishing brand new work recently, the first draft of Unlike Etta was written some time ago. The story was radically re-written a number of times over the years, mostly in response to feedback and suggestions from well-meaning and talented professors at the college were I studied. All those earlier versions were submitted to various literary journals and all were rejected. I think 2 things: 1) my solution to the feedback from my professors might not have been well-executed. But also, 2) it's possible that their feedback was, if not mistaken, unnecessary. Mostly they felt the narrator needed more of a backstory than he has in this version, which is the closest to the original that I ever submitted anywhere. In response, I wrote a new, long beginning section about the childhood and family life of the narrator. It may have had some interesting scenes, but I had always had doubts about the quality of the writing and storytelling. One thing I was sure of though was that it dulled the impact of the narrator's experience on the night in question. And I knew the best part of the story was still the original core. As I got older, read more short fiction and poetry, I became more comfortable with the idea that, unlike a novel, it is okay for a short story to leave questions in the minds of readers -- of course novels can do that too -- can allow readers, if any are inclined this way, to come to their own conclusions about certain aspects of the action. So recently I re-worked Unlike Etta, stripping it of the prelude I'd written, incorporating a very few aspects of the family backstory, updating some of the language. And I tried to clarify the personality of the narrator and intensify the focus on his snowbound surrender and what he was thinking in the moment only. Then I read stories in current journals, with a greater-than-usual focus on finding a place that I thought might appreciate a rather spare story, told by a rather bitter narrator, but where kindness happens. Because I think it is fair to say he encounters plenty of kindness that night in the snow, even if he rejects most of it. And so, after living with "Unlike Etta" like a roommate in my head for years, it has finally seen the light of day, shining out of Baltimore, and I'm really grateful to Loch Raven and proud to be included in an issue.

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